Judges 14:16 · Bible study
Judges 14:16 Commentary: Samson’s Refusal to Tell the Riddle
Hebrew · 7 what the commentators say
Meaning in one sentence
Samson refuses to tell his wife the riddle, comparing her to his parents. Explore marital tension, trust dynamics, and cultural background in this verse.
Research Summary
- Meaning: Samson’s refusal reveals that trust between spouses is built over time and cannot survive when loyalty remains divided.
- Key words: “hate” (śānē’, H8130) used rhetorically; “riddle” (ḥîdāh, H2420) implies a hidden meaning; the verb “wept” (bākāh, H1058) carries the idiom of clinging in pleading.
- Main debate: Whether Samson’s harshness is justified given his wife’s coercion, or whether it shows his failure to honor the marital bond.
- Theological theme: God works through flawed relationships and human weakness to accomplish His purposes for Israel.
- Best use: Preaching or teaching on trust in marriage, the costs of cross-cultural relationships, or the complexity of God’s people living among oppressors.
Translation Comparison
BSB Berean Standard Bible 2020
Then Samson’s wife came to him, weeping, and said, “You hate me! You do not really love me! You have posed to my people a riddle, but have not explained it to me.” “Look,” he said, “I have not even explained it to my father or mother, so why should I explain it to you?”
WEB World English Bible 2000
Samson’s wife wept before him, and said, “You just hate me, and don’t love me. You’ve told a riddle to the children of my people, and haven’t told it to me.” He said to her, “Behold, I haven’t told my father or my mother, so why should I tell you?”
KJV King James Version 1769
And Samson’s wife wept before him, and said, Thou dost but hate me, and lovest me not: thou hast put forth a riddle unto the children of my people, and hast not told it me. And he said unto her, Behold, I have not told it my father nor my mother, and shall I tell it thee?
ASV American Standard Version 1901
And Samson’s wife wept before him, and said, Thou dost but hate me, and lovest me not: thou hast put forth a riddle unto the children of my people, and hast not told it me. And he said unto her, Behold, I have not told it my father nor my mother, and shall I tell thee?
YLT Young's Literal Translation 1898
And Samson's wife weepeth for it, and saith, `Thou hast only hated me, and hast not loved me; the riddle thou hast put forth to the sons of my people--and to me thou hast not declared it;' and he saith to her, `Lo, to my father and to my mother I have not declared it --and to thee I declare it !'
Darby Darby Bible 1890
And Samson's wife wept before him, and said, Thou dost but hate me, and lovest me not. Thou hast propounded the riddle to the children of my people, and hast not explained it to me. And he said to her, Behold, I have not explained it to my father nor my mother, and shall I explain it to thee?
Douay-Rheims Douay-Rheims Bible 1899
So she wept before Samson and complained, saying: Thou hatest me, and dost not love me: therefore thou wilt not expound to me the riddle, which thou hast proposed to the sons of my people. But he answered: I would not tell it to my father and mother: and how can I tell it to thee?
Translations in other languages (10 available)
Y lloró la mujer de Samsón delante de él, y dijo: Solamente me aborreces y no me amas, pues que no me declaras el enigma que propusiste á los hijos de mi pueblo. Y él respondió: He aquí que ni á mi padre ni á mi madre lo he declarado; y ¿ habíalo de declarar á ti?
E chorou a mulher de Sansão diante dele, e disse: Somente me aborreces e não me amas, pois que não me declaras o enigma que propuseste aos filhos de meu povo. E ele respondeu: Eis que nem a meu pai nem a minha mãe o declarei; e havia eu de declará-lo a ti?
La femme de Samson pleurait auprès de lui, et disait: Tu n’ as pour moi que de la haine, et tu ne m’aimes pas; tu as proposé une énigme aux enfants de mon peuple, et tu ne me l’ as point expliquée! Et il lui répondait: Je ne l’ ai expliquée ni à mon père ni à ma mère; est-ce à toi que je l’ expliquerais?
Da weinte Simsons Weib vor ihm und sprach: Du bist mir gram und hast mich nicht lieb. Du hast den Kindern meines Volkes ein Rätsel aufgegeben und hast mir's nicht gesagt. Er aber sprach zu ihr: Siehe, ich habe es meinem Vater und meiner Mutter nicht gesagt und sollte dir's sagen?
En Simsons huisvrouw weende voor hem en zeide: Gij haat mij maar, en hebt mij niet lief; gij hebt den kinderen mijns volks een raadsel te raden gegeven, en hebt het mij niet verklaard. En hij zeide tot haar: Zie, ik heb het mijn vader en mijn moeder niet verklaard, zou ik het u dan verklaren?
La moglie di Sansone si mise a piangere presso di lui, e a dirgli: “Tu non hai per me che dell’odio, e non mi vuoi bene; hai proposto un enimma a figliuoli del mio popolo e non me l’hai spiegato!” Ed egli a lei: “Ecco, non l’ho spiegato a mio padre né a mia madre, e lo spiegherei a te?”
Płakała tedy żona Samsonowa nań, mówiąc: Zaprawdę mię masz w nienawiści, a nie miłujesz mię; zadałeś zagadkę synom ludu mego, a nie chcesz mi jej oznajmić. I rzekł do niej: Otom jej ojcu memu i matce mojej nie oznajmił, a tobie bym miał oznajmić?
И плакала жена Самсонова пред ним и говорила: ты ненавидишь меня и не любишь; ты загадал загадку сынам народа моего, а мне не разгадаешь ее. Он сказал ей: отцу моему и матери моей не разгадал ее; и тебе ли разгадаю?
參孫的 妻 在 丈夫面前啼哭 說：「你是 恨我，不是 愛我，你給我本國 的人 出 謎語，卻沒有 將意思告訴 我。」參孫回答 說：「 連我父 母 我都沒有 告訴，豈可告訴 你呢？」
Then Samson's wife, weeping over him, said, Truly you have no love for me but only hate; you have put a hard question to the children of my people and have not given me the answer. And he said to her, See, I have not given the answer even to my father or my mother; am I to give it to you?
Verse in Context
Original Language (Biblical Hebrew)
Old Testament · Biblical Hebrew · Judges 14:16
Source: STEPBible TAGNT/TEHB (CC-BY 4.0). Click or tap a morphology code to see the full parsing.
Scholars' Consensus
Commentators across traditions agree that Samson’s refusal to explain the riddle stems from a principle of trust: he had not disclosed it to his parents, whom he had known and trusted far longer. Gill’s Exposition notes that Samson had “sufficient knowledge” of his parents’ fidelity yet still chose not to tell them; he could hardly extend the same confidence to a woman he had just married. The Cambridge Bible observes the idiom “wept before him” (literally “wept upon him,” as in Genesis 45:15), a posture of pleading that suggests both desperation and emotional pressure. Lange’s Commentary emphasizes the psychological truth of the scene: Samson really loved the woman, but an Israelite cannot form close ties with oppressors without conflict. Matthew Henry uses the episode to warn against “entangling alliances” with unbelievers. All these readings converge on one point: the marriage was built on a weak foundation, and the riddle exposed its fault lines. The wife’s accusation (“you hate me”) is understood as emotional exaggeration, not a truthful charge.
How settled is the interpretation?
Interpretive difficulty: Medium
Main views:
- Samson’s warning is reasonable: His rhetorical question assumes a logical hierarchy of trust; he does not yet know her loyalty (Gill, Cambridge Bible).
- Samson’s response is harsh: He dismisses her distress and fails to recognize the threat she is under, violating the marital ideal of one flesh (Matthew Henry, Genesis 2:24).
What is clear: Samson withholds the riddle’s meaning from his wife, using the fact that he had not told his parents as justification, which reveals a trust deficit in their new marriage.
What Scholars Agree and Debate
| Topic | Agreed | Debated |
|---|---|---|
| Samson’s refusal compared to parents | Commentators agree Samson uses his parents as the reason for not telling his wife. | Some see it as a valid argument (Gill) based on trust built over time; others view it as a sign of his failure to leave and cleave (Matthew Henry). |
| The wife’s accusation of hatred | The accusation is emotionally charged and not a literal statement of fact. | Was it manipulative pressure (Lange, Gill) or a genuine cry of hurt? Most see it as an artifice, but some allow for her genuine confusion. |
| The role of the Philistine threat | She was under threat of death from the guests (v.15). | Some emphasize her fear and absolve her of betrayal (Poole); others stress her deceit as a character flaw (Geneva Bible). |
| Samson’s love for his wife | Lange states Samson really loved the woman. | Was his love genuine but naive, or was it selfish and possessive? Commentators like Wesley focus on God’s sovereignty over the whole affair, leaving Samson’s inner state ambiguous. |
Historical & Cultural Context
The setting is a Philistine wedding feast in Timnah (Judges 14:10). In the ancient Near East, such feasts lasted seven days and included entertainment like riddle contests, Keil and Delitzsch point to parallels among Greek banquets. Samson’s thirty companions were brought by the bride’s family, likely as an honor guard or, as some suggest, to watch him. The threat from the Philistine guests (v.15) reveals their character: “Entice your husband… lest we burn you and your father’s house with fire.” This threat places Samson’s wife under extreme duress. She is not simply curious; she is trying to save her life and her family. Samson’s response to her, “I haven’t told my father or my mother, so why should I tell you?”, reflects a cultural hierarchy where family loyalty outweighed marital bonds at the initial stage of marriage. In Israelite custom (as later in Genesis 2:24), a man leaves his parents to cleave to his wife, but this ideal is in tension with the reality of cross-cultural marriage. Poole’s annotations highlight that Samson’s parents were the ones he had trust in, not a woman from an enemy people. The marriage itself, as Judges 14:4 notes, was from Yahweh, designed to create an occasion against the Philistines. The cultural clash is on full display: Israelite Nazirite, Philistine wife, Philistine guests, and a riddle that becomes a weapon.
Textual Notes
The consulted sources (Cambridge Bible, Gill’s Exposition, Keil and Delitzsch, Lange’s Commentary) note no significant textual variants for Judges 14:16. The Hebrew text is stable. The Cambridge Bible observes that the idiom “wept before him” (literally “wept upon him”) has a parallel in Genesis 45:15, where Joseph weeps upon his brothers, a gesture of emotional intensity that fits the context here.
Reception History
In church history, Judges 14:16 has been read primarily as a warning against mixed marriages with unbelievers. Matthew Henry (1710) calls it an example of the “mischief that follows from being unequally yoked.” Wesley’s Explanatory Notes (1754) reflect on God’s sovereignty over Samson’s choices, even in his mistakes. The Reformation-era Geneva Bible highlights the wife’s cunning and Samson’s imprudence. More recent commentators like Keil and Delitzsch and Lange treat the passage as psychologically realistic narrative, noting the inevitability of conflict when God’s people associate closely with oppressors. The verse continues to be cited in marriage counseling as an illustration of trust issues and communication barriers between spouses from different backgrounds.
Preaching This Verse
Three-point outline
- The accusation of hatred. His wife equates secrecy with hatred; this reveals a distrusting heart and puts emotional pressure on Samson.
- The hierarchy of loyalty. Samson invokes his parents to show where his deepest loyalties lie, ignoring that marriage is meant to create a new primary bond (Genesis 2:24).
- The vulnerability of trust. The riddle becomes a test that the marriage fails because of external pressure and internal suspicion.
Five-point outline
- Emotional manipulation, her weeping and accusation.
- Samson’s defensive logic, comparing her to his parents.
- The disparity of loyalty, he treats her as an outsider.
- The threat from outside, the Philistine guests’ coercion.
- The eventual breakdown, he tells her, she betrays him, and the story escalates (v.17, 18).
Illustration hooks
- A spouse under pressure from friends to reveal a confidence that could damage their partner.
- A new job or move where loyalty is tested between old friendships and the new family.
- The tension between being transparent with a spouse and protecting a trust that involves others.
Questions your congregation is asking
- Is it ever right to keep secrets from your spouse?
- How do I handle pressure from others to betray trust in my marriage?
- What does this passage say about marrying someone who does not share your faith?
Leading a Discussion
This small-group guide invites participants to look closely at the conversation between Samson and his wife. Read Judges 14:16 aloud and notice the words each person uses. Consider the pressures on both sides, her fear of the Philistine threat, his sense of loyalty to his family. The dialogue exposes a marriage already strained by cultural divides and mismatched expectations. Trust requires time and safety, neither of which this couple had.
Discussion questions
- What does the wife’s accusation “You hate me” reveal about her understanding of love and trust?
- Why does Samson compare her to his parents? What does this show about his view of their marriage covenant?
- How does the threat from the Philistines (v.15) shape her demands? Should her fear change how we judge her actions?
- What would it look like for Samson to respond differently? Could he have balanced loyalty to his parents with trust toward his wife?
- In what ways do external pressures (work, family, culture) challenge your own ability to build trust with those closest to you?
- How does this passage help us understand the biblical ideal of marriage as “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24) in real, messy relationships?
- What one step could you take this week to strengthen trust in a key relationship?
Word Study
The key original-language words in this verse. Select any word for its full lexicon entry — meaning, every occurrence in Scripture, and related words.
Cross-References
Source: Treasury of Scripture Knowledge (TSK, public domain)
| Genesis 2:24 | Therefore a man will leave his father and his mother, and will join with his wife, and they will be one flesh. |
| Judges 16:15 | She said to him, “How can you say, ‘I love you,’ when your heart is not with me? You have mocked me these three times, and have not told me where your great strength lies.” |
Interlinear and lexical data from STEPBible (CC BY 4.0). Cross-reference data from OpenBible.info (CC BY 4.0). Commentaries are public domain.
For personal reflection
Read the devotional page — prayer, application, and "for families"
What the Commentators Say
6 public-domain commentaries, condensed into plain language.
Cambridge Bible for Schools and Colleges Anglican 1880
The Cambridge Bible notes that the phrase "before him" here is a Hebrew idiom meaning "upon him" or "on his neck," citing similar uses in Judges 14:17 and Genesis 45:15. It also cross-references Judges 16:15 for the woman's deceptive method in the story.
Geneva Bible Notes Reformed 1599
The Geneva note highlights Samson's unreasonable reply: he uses his loyalty to his parents as an excuse to deny his wife, yet marriage makes her his closest relation. His response reveals coldness, not love, and fails to honor the bond a husband should have with his wife.
Gill's Exposition of the Bible Baptist 1748
Gill highlights the wife's manipulative use of tears and feigned hurt: she accuses Samson of hating her to pressure him into revealing the riddle's answer. His defense appeals to loyalty—he has not even told his own parents, so why trust her, a recent acquaintance?
Keil & Delitzsch OT Commentary Protestant 1876
Keil-Delitzsch stress that the Spirit of Jehovah compelled Samson to kill Philistines, showing God's superior power, not personal revenge. They view the Philistines' threats and betrayal of Samson's wife as proof of their faithlessness. The marriage breakdown, they argue, was escalated by the Philistines' deceit, not Samson
Lange's Commentary Reformed 1857
Lange argues that Samson's marriage to a Philistine woman was destined for conflict because no genuine covenant can unite an Israelite with his people's oppressors. Samson deceived himself in expecting love and fidelity from a Philistine family, and the riddle immediately exposed the hidden antagonism. The treachery that followed was inevitable, not just from the Philistines' character but from Samson's own identity.
Wesley's Explanatory Notes Methodist/Wesleyan 1754
Wesley rejects Matthew Henry's claim that the goodness of God's promised land will intensify the punishment of those who perish. He argues that this reasoning fails under predestination: if some are not elected, they never had a genuine offer, and if all the elect are saved, the grant was never free to the others.