Matthew 18:17 Meaning: How to Treat an Unrepentant Brother
If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the assembly. If he refuses to hear the assembly also, let him be to you as a Gentile or a tax collector.
And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.
And if he refuse to hear them, tell it unto the church: and if he refuse to hear the church also, let him be unto thee as the Gentile and the publican.
`And if he may not hear them, say it to the assembly, and if also the assembly he may not hear, let him be to thee as the heathen man and the tax-gatherer.
But if he will not listen to them, tell it to the assembly; and if also he will not listen to the assembly, let him be to thee as one of the nations and a tax-gatherer.
Meaning in one sentence
Understand Jesus' process for church discipline in Matthew 18:17 and how to balance confronting sin with the love He showed tax collectors and sinners.
Context
This verse sits inside a longer teaching from Jesus to his disciples about how to handle conflict and sin inside the community of faith. Just before this, Jesus told the parable of the lost sheep, showing how the Father longs to bring back the one who wanders. In verses 15 and 16 he laid out the early steps: go privately, then take one or two witnesses. Verse 17 is the third and final step. If a brother will not listen even to the whole assembly, Jesus says something hard: treat him like a Gentile or a tax collector. The chapter closes with Peter asking about forgiveness, and Jesus answering with the parable of the unmerciful servant. So the whole context is about restoration, not punishment.
Key Words
The Greek word behind 'refuses to listen' is parakouō. It means more than just not hearing, it carries the sense of wilfully ignoring, of turning aside so you cannot hear. This is not a person who slipped up once. This is someone who has been spoken to privately, then with witnesses, then by the whole church, and still will not respond.
The word for 'assembly' is ekklēsia. In Jesus' day it meant the gathering of the people, the community that represents God. For the first listeners this meant the Jewish synagogue assembly; for later Christians it came to mean the church body. The point is the same: the whole community speaks.
And 'tax collector' is telōnēs. In Jewish society these were seen as traitors who worked for Rome and cheated their own people. Yet Jesus himself ate with them. He did not reject them, he reached out. So being treated 'as a tax collector' is not a final sentence; it is being seen as someone who still needs the gospel.
How Christians Read This Verse
Christians across traditions have read this verse in different ways. Many early Protestant commentators like Matthew Henry and Adam Clarke stress that the process must be followed in order, and that the final step means removing the person from fellowship while still showing kindness. John Wesley, as Clarke reports, said we owe such a person 'earnest and persevering good will, and acts of kindness' but no religious communion.
The Cambridge Bible notes that in the original setting, 'the church' likely meant the ruling body of the synagogue, what Jesus' first hearers would have understood. Later it was applied to the Christian church. Catholic tradition has often connected this verse to the authority of the church in binding and loosing, especially in the sacrament of reconciliation. All traditions agree that this is not about personal revenge but communal care for the soul.
A common misunderstanding
Many people read this verse and think Jesus is telling us to cut off all contact with anyone who sins and will not listen immediately. In fact, the verse is the last step of a long, patient process. Jesus himself calls tax collectors his friends and eats with them. The call is not to become an enemy, but to stop treating the person as a brother in the faith while still loving them as a neighbour who needs to be brought back.
Living This Out
This week, if someone has hurt you, resist the urge to tell everyone except them. Start private. If that does not help, ask a wise friend to come with you. Only as a last resort do you bring the matter to the wider church. And even then, remember that the person you treat 'as a tax collector' is exactly the kind of person Jesus sat down with at table. So the final step does not mean the end of kindness. It means the end of pretending nothing is wrong, and the beginning of hoping that someday they will come home.
Main takeaway: Jesus calls us to pursue a brother step by step, and even the hardest step leaves a door open for grace.
For Families
For ages 5, 8
If someone hurts you, tell them gently. If they won't listen, ask a grown-up to help. If they still won't listen, the family of God prays for them and waits with love.
For ages 9, 12
This verse is the last step in a hard process. You first talk to the person alone. Then you bring a friend or two. Only if they still refuse to listen do you tell the church. But even then, you don't stop caring. Jesus was a friend to tax collectors, and He wants you to keep hoping that the person will turn around.
Questions People Ask
What does 'let him be to you as a Gentile or tax collector' mean?
In Jesus' day, Jews had no religious communion with Gentiles and tax collectors. These were outsiders. So Jesus is saying: treat the unrepentant person as an outsider to the faith community. But this does not mean shun or hate them. Jesus himself was a friend of tax collectors and sinners, so the goal is still restoration, not rejection.
Does this verse teach that churches should shun people?
No, the context is a loving process aimed at restoration. Shunning without any prior steps would be a misuse of this verse. The process moves from private to small group to the whole church, and even the final step is meant to lead the person to repentance, not to push them away permanently.
What is 'the church' in this verse?
In the original setting, 'church' (ekklesia) likely meant the local assembly or its leaders. For Jesus' first hearers, that would have been the synagogue congregation or ruling elders. Early Christians soon applied it to the Christian church. Both views see it as the community of believers acting together.
How does this verse fit with Jesus being a friend to tax collectors?
That is the tension. Jesus calls us to treat an unrepentant brother 'as a tax collector', yet He ate with tax collectors and loved them. The key is that He loved them as outsiders who needed the gospel, not as insiders living in sin. The step is a change in relationship status, not the end of kindness.
What if the church applies this verse wrongly?
Churches can misuse this verse by rushing to the last step or by treating people harshly. That is why the earlier steps are so important, they protect both the person and the community. The goal is always repentance and restoration, not punishment or exclusion.
For pastors & researchers
Greek interlinear, 8 commentaries & word study