Genesis 27:45 Meaning: What Did Rebekah Mean by 'Bereaved of You Both'?
until your brother’s anger turns away from you, and he forgets what you have done to him. Then I will send, and get you from there. Why should I be bereaved of you both in one day?”
Until thy brother’s anger turn away from thee, and he forget that which thou hast done to him: then I will send, and fetch thee from thence: why should I be deprived also of you both in one day?
until thy brother’s anger turn away from thee, and he forget that which thou hast done to him: then I will send, and fetch thee from thence: why should I be bereaved of you both in one day?
till thy brother's anger turn back from thee, and he hath forgotten that which thou hast done to him, and I have sent and taken thee from thence; why am I bereaved even of you both the same day?'
until thy brother's anger turn away from thee, and he forget what thou hast done to him; then I will send and fetch thee thence. Why should I be bereaved even of you both in one day?
Meaning in one sentence
Rebekah fears losing both sons if Esau kills Jacob, blood revenge would then take Esau's life. A mother's desperate hope.
Context
Jacob has just tricked his father into giving him the blessing meant for Esau. Esau is furious and plans to kill him as soon as their father dies. Rebekah overhears and moves quickly. She tells Jacob to run to her brother Laban in Haran and stay there until Esau's anger passes. She promises she will send for him when it is safe. Then she asks the question that reveals her deepest fear: if Esau murders Jacob, the law of blood revenge would cost Esau his life too. She could lose both sons in a single day.
Key Words
Three Hebrew verbs carry the weight of this moment. The first is shuv, the word behind “turns away.” It means to return or turn back completely, not just a slight cooling of anger, but a full reversal. Rebekah hopes Esau’s rage will do a U-turn. The second is shakach, “forgets.” It does not mean he will literally lose the memory, but that he will stop nursing the offense. The wound will no longer define him. The third word is shakal, “bereaved.” This is the heartbreaking one. It appears in stories of mothers who lose children to violence or barrenness. Rebekah uses it to name what she cannot bear: being left with no sons at all.
How Christians Read This Verse
Adam Clarke, a Methodist commentator, explains Rebekah’s fear through the ancient custom of blood revenge: if Esau kills Jacob, the nearest relative must avenge Jacob’s death, so both sons would die. Calvin, writing from the Reformed tradition, sees God’s hand behind the law of nature, a murderer cannot go unpunished. Gill, a Baptist expositor, adds that even if Esau escaped human justice, God himself would find him. Across these traditions, the interpreters agree: Rebekah’s cry comes from a real and terrible understanding of what one sin can set in motion.
A common misunderstanding
Some readers think Rebekah is exaggerating for effect, just adding drama to get Jacob to leave. In fact, she is describing a very real legal principle. Under the custom of the Goel (the blood avenger), if Esau killed Jacob, Esau himself would be put to death. Her question is not overblown; it is the cry of a mother who knows exactly what the next step would be.
Living This Out
When you have made a mess, and most of us have, the urge is either to stay and fight or to run without a plan. Rebekah did something wiser: she created distance so that anger could cool. She also promised to stay connected and watch for the right time to rebuild. This week, if you are in the middle of a fractured relationship, ask yourself whether a short separation might help, not as an escape but as a way to let God work. And while you wait, trust the outcome to him. You do not have to manage every detail.
Main takeaway: When we try to fix our mistakes on our own, we often end up fearing the worst, but God’s plans move forward even through our tangled choices.
For Families
For ages 5, 8
Jacob did something wrong, and his brother Esau got very angry. Jacob had to go far away for a while until Esau stopped being so mad. His mother was sad because she loved both of them.
For ages 9, 12
Rebekah was caught in a hard spot. She helped Jacob get the blessing unfairly, and now Esau wanted to kill him. She sent Jacob away to protect him, but she also knew that if Esau killed Jacob, then someone else might kill Esau as punishment. That is why she said she could lose both sons in one day. She was trying to keep everyone safe, even when the situation felt impossible.
Questions People Ask
Why did Rebekah say she would be bereaved of both sons?
She meant that if Esau killed Jacob, Esau himself would be put to death by an avenger of blood according to the custom described in Genesis 9:6. So both sons could die on the same day, one by murder, the other by execution.
What is blood revenge (Goel) in the Bible?
In the Old Testament, the Goel was a close relative responsible for avenging a family member's murder. This custom appears in places like Numbers 35 and II Samuel 14:7. Rebekah feared this principle would apply if Esau killed Jacob.
How long did Jacob actually stay away from Esau?
Jacob stayed with Laban for about twenty years (Genesis 31:38). What Rebekah called "a few days" turned into a long separation. She never saw Jacob again, as far as the story tells us.
Was Rebekah right to send Jacob away?
Christians read this story in different ways. Some see her protecting Jacob from immediate danger. Others point out that the earlier deception caused the crisis. The text does not judge her decision directly, but it shows that God worked through the situation to fulfill his promise to Abraham.
Did Esau ever forgive Jacob?
Yes, eventually. When they met again in Genesis 33, Esau ran to embrace Jacob and wept. By then, Esau's anger had fully turned away, just as Rebekah had hoped.
For pastors & researchers
Hebrew interlinear, 8 commentaries & word study