Colossians 3:13 Meaning: Forgive as Christ Forgave

The first key Greek verb in this verse is anechomenoi (bearing with). It means to hold up or endure, not just gritting your teeth but actively carrying the weight of another person's weakness without giving up on them. Paul pairs that with charizomenoi (forgiving), a word built on the root charis, meaning grace. To forgive is to show unearned kindness, to cancel a debt someone owes you. It is the same verb used when Paul says Christ forgave you. And then there is a rare Greek noun, momphēn (complaint). This word appears only once in the New Testament. It means a legitimate grievance, a real fault found. Paul is not talking about minor irritations. He is talking about the times you actually have a right to be upset. The verse says even then, you release it, the way Christ released His claim against you.

Christians have understood this command in two main ways. Some early Protestant commentators, like Adam Clarke (Methodist), taught that the offended party is not required to grant full forgiveness until the offender acknowledges the fault with sorrow, just as Christ forgives us only when we repent. Others, such as John Gill (Baptist), pointed out that Christ forgives freely even before we ask, and so believers should forgive one another the same way, without waiting for an apology. Both sides agree the heart must be free of malice and ready to forgive. The difference is over the timing of the formal release. Whether you lean toward one view or the other, the verse presses the same question: have you received Christ's forgiveness deeply enough to let it shape how you treat the person who wronged you?

A common misreading of this verse comes from the King James word quarrel. Many modern readers think it means a loud argument, the kind where both parties are at fault. In fact, the Greek momphēn means a legitimate complaint or a justified grievance. Paul is not talking about petty squabbles. He is talking about the times when you have been genuinely wronged. And he says: even then, forgive. The challenge is not to pretend the injury isn't real. It is to release the debt anyway.

Think of one person this week who has given you a real reason to hold a grudge. It might be a coworker who took credit for your work. A spouse who spoke sharply. A friend who let you down. You have a genuine complaint. This verse does not ask you to pretend the hurt is small. It asks two things: first, bear with that person, don't retaliate, don't walk away, keep your heart open toward them. Second, forgive them. That does not necessarily mean telling them everything is fine if they haven't acknowledged it. But it does mean releasing your right to punish them. You can even say to God, 'I have a real complaint here, but I am letting it go because Christ let my sins go.' Try that this week. See what it frees in you.