I Corinthians 7:5 · Bible study
1 Corinthians 7:5 Commentary: of : Mutual Consent, Prayer, and Risk
Greek · 10 what the commentators say
Meaning in one sentence
Paul permits temporary marital abstinence only by mutual consent for prayer, while warning that prolonged separation may lead to temptation through lack
Research Summary
- Meaning: Married couples are not to withhold sex from each other, except by mutual agreement for a limited time, for focused prayer, then resume, lest Satan exploit their lack of self-control.
- Key words: apostereō (defraud/debt), ek sumphōnou (by mutual consent), kairos (a fixed season), scholazō (be devoted, have leisure for), akrasia (lack of self-control).
- Main debate: Whether “fasting” is original (best early manuscripts omit it; many commentators consider it an ascetic addition).
- Theological theme: The goodness of marriage as a safeguard against sin, and the proper place of spiritual disciplines within the marriage covenant.
- Best use: Pastoral guidance for couples considering seasons of abstinence, and a corrective against any teaching that denigrates marital intimacy as unholy.
Translation Comparison
BSB Berean Standard Bible 2020
Do not deprive each other, except by mutual consent and for a time, so you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again, so that Satan will not tempt you through your lack of self-control.
WEB World English Bible 2000
Don’t deprive one another, unless it is by consent for a season, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer, and may be together again, that Satan doesn’t tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
KJV King James Version 1769
Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
ASV American Standard Version 1901
Defraud ye not one the other, except it be by consent for a season, that ye may give yourselves unto prayer, and may be together again, that Satan tempt you not because of your incontinency.
YLT Young's Literal Translation 1898
Defraud not one another, except by consent for a time, that ye may be free for fasting and prayer, and again may come together, that the Adversary may not tempt you because of your incontinence;
Darby Darby Bible 1890
Defraud not one another, unless, it may be, by consent for a time, that ye may devote yourselves to prayer, and again be together, that Satan tempt you not because of your incontinency.
Douay-Rheims Douay-Rheims Bible 1899
Defraud not one another, except, perhaps, by consent, for a time, that you may give yourselves to prayer: and return together again, lest Satan tempt you for your incontinency.
Translations in other languages (10 available)
No os defraudéis el uno al otro, á no ser por algún tiempo de mutuo consentimiento, para ocuparos en la oración: y volved á juntaros en uno, porque no os tiente Satanás á causa de vuestra incontinencia.
Não vos priveis um ao outro, a não ser por consentimento de ambos por algum tempo, para que vos ocupeis com jejum, e para a oração; e voltai-vos outra vez a se juntarem, para que Satanás não vos tente, por causa de vossa falta de domínio próprio.
Ne vous privez point l’ un de l’ autre, si ce n’ est d’ un commun accord pour un temps, afin de vaquer à la prière; puis retournez ensemble, de peur que Satan ne vous tente par votre incontinence.
Entziehe sich nicht eins dem andern, es sei denn aus beider Bewilligung eine Zeitlang, daß ihr zum Fasten und Beten Muße habt; und kommt wiederum zusammen, auf daß euch der Satan nicht versuche um eurer Unkeuschheit willen.
Onttrekt u elkander niet, tenzij dan met beider toestemming voor een tijd, opdat gij u tot vasten en bidden moogt verledigen; en komt wederom bijeen, opdat u de satan niet verzoeke, omdat gij u niet kunt onthouden.
Non vi private l’un dell’altro, se non di comun consenso, per un tempo, affin di darvi alla preghiera; e poi ritornate assieme, onde Satana non vi tenti a motivo della vostra incontinenza.
Nie oszukiwajcie jeden drugiego; chybaby z spólnego zezwolenia do czasu, abyście się uwolnili do postu i do modlitwy; a zasię wespół się schodźcie, aby was szatan nie kusił dla waszej niepowściągliwości.
Не уклоняйтесь друг от друга, разве по согласию, на время, для упражнения в посте и молитве, а потом опять будьте вместе, чтобы не искушал вас сатана невоздержанием вашим.
夫妻不 可彼此 虧負，除非 兩相 情願，暫 時分房，為 要 專心禱告方可； 以後仍 要同 房，免得 撒但 趁著 你們 情不自禁，引誘 你們。
Do not keep back from one another what is right, but only for a short time, and by agreement, so that you may give yourselves to prayer, and come together again; so that Satan may not get the better of you through your loss of self-control.
Verse in Context
Original Language (Koine Greek)
New Testament · Koine Greek · I Corinthians 7:5
Source: STEPBible TAGNT/TEHB (CC-BY 4.0). Click or tap a morphology code to see the full parsing.
Scholars' Consensus
Commentators agree that Paul is addressing a real danger in Corinth: some believers thought celibacy even within marriage was more spiritual. The verb apostereō (“defraud”) frames the marital duty as a debt, withholding it is a form of injustice. The exception is carefully guarded: abstinence must be voluntary on both sides (ek sumphōnou, “by mutual agreement”), for a designated season (kairos, a fixed period, not indefinite), and for the explicit purpose of devotion to prayer. Several early manuscripts omit “fasting,” suggesting it may have been added later by ascetic scribes. The most important limit is the warning: prolonged separation gives Satan an opening through the couple’s akrasia, their lack of self-control. Calvin notes that Paul is protecting married couples from the illusion that celibacy is holier. The verse is not a command to abstain but a permission, bounded by spiritual purpose and practical reality.
How settled is the interpretation?
Interpretive difficulty: Low
What is clear: Paul permits temporary marital abstinence only when both spouses agree, for a limited time, for the sake of prayer, and requires them to resume intimacy to avoid temptation from lack of self-control.
What Scholars Agree and Debate
| Topic | Agreed | Debated |
|---|---|---|
| Textual inclusion of 'fasting' | The verse permits temporary abstinence for prayer; most traditions accept that the purpose is focused devotion. | The earliest Greek manuscripts (P46, Sinaiticus, Vaticanus) omit 'fasting,' leading many scholars to view it as a later scribal addition. Some church traditions retain it based on later majority MSS. |
| Permitted occasions for abstinence | Abstinence is allowed only for a limited time and by mutual consent. | Some interpreters (e.g., Calvin, Gill) understand the abstinence as only for extraordinary spiritual crises or planned seasons of prayer; others read it as a general permission for any time a couple agrees for devotional purposes. |
| Meaning of 'lack of self-control' (akrasia) | Prolonged abstinence can lead to temptation, so couples should resume intimacy promptly. | Some see akrasia as a generic human weakness; others specifically link it to the risk of extramarital sexual sin, given the context of 1 Cor 6, 7 and Corinth’s sexual culture. |
Historical & Cultural Context
Paul is answering a letter from the Corinthian church (1 Cor 7:1). Among their questions was whether married couples should stop having sex to pursue greater holiness. Some Corinthians, influenced by Greek dualism that saw the body as inferior, viewed marital intimacy as a distraction from spiritual life. Paul pushes back with a countercultural move: husbands and wives have equal authority over each other’s bodies (v. 4). His term “defraud” (apostereō) echoes the Septuagint of Exodus 21:10, where it refers to diminishing a wife’s conjugal rights. In Jewish tradition, temporary abstinence was practiced for special consecration, Moses instructed the people to abstain before meeting God at Sinai (Exod 19:15), and David’s men kept themselves from women before eating the holy bread (1 Sam 21:4, 5). Joel 2:16 calls the bridegroom and bride out of their chamber for national repentance. Paul adopts this pattern: a brief, mutually agreed pause for focused prayer, not a permanent state. But he adds a warning absent from the Old Testament examples: Satan may exploit prolonged abstinence to stir temptation. The word akrasia, lack of self-control, is the same root Paul uses in v. 9 for those who “cannot contain.” The verse sits between Paul’s affirmation of regular marital intimacy (vv. 2, 4) and his statement that this is a concession, not a commandment (v. 6). He does not want the marriage bed treated as an obstacle to holiness but as a God-given safeguard against sin.
Textual Notes
The earliest and most reliable Greek manuscripts, including Papyrus 46, Codex Sinaiticus, and Codex Vaticanus, do not include the word “fasting” (nēsteia). The Cambridge Bible, Jamieson-Fausset-Brown, and Lange all note its omission as likely original, with the addition coming from ascetic copyists who assumed fasting accompanied prayer. The verse is fully coherent without “fasting”: devotion to prayer alone fits Paul’s concern to avoid imposing extra disciplines. Most modern translations (WEB, BSB, NIV, ESV) place “fasting” in brackets or note its absence.
Reception History
Early church writers such as Clement of Alexandria and Tertullian used this verse to argue that abstinence should be temporary and consenting, though some in ascetic circles extended the principle to justify permanent celibacy within marriage, a practice Paul’s framework forbids. By the Middle Ages, monastic interpretations sometimes treated the verse as a support for periodic abstinence on vigils and feast days. The Reformation brought a corrective: Luther and Calvin emphasized mutuality and warned that abstinence must never become a guise for neglect. Calvin specifically argued that Paul is countering a false sanctity that disdains marital intimacy. In modern pastoral theology, the verse is read as a realistic safeguard: spiritual disciplines serve marriage rather than compete with it. Across all eras, the dominant thread has been Paul’s practical boundary, mutual, temporary, prayed, and his warning against letting the good desire for prayer become a channel for temptation.
Preaching This Verse
Three-point outline
- The norm: mutual conjugal love as a debt. Verses 3, 4 establish that spouses owe each other affection and do not have independent authority over their bodies. Abstinence without consent is defrauding.
- The exception: temporary abstinence by consent for prayer. Paul allows a pause, but only with three conditions: mutual agreement, a limited season (kairos), and a spiritual purpose, devotion to prayer.
- The warning: prolonged separation opens a door to temptation. Satan exploits akrasia, the natural lack of self-control that marriage was designed to remedy (v. 2). The cure must not become the occasion for sin.
Five-point outline
- Marriage is not a hindrance to holiness but a gift; regular intimacy is part of faithful Christian living.
- Avoid the error of spiritualizing neglect: withholding sex from a spouse under the guise of devotion is a form of defrauding.
- If a couple agrees to abstain for prayer, the decision must be mutual, time-limited, and focused on a specific spiritual purpose.
- The textual note about fasting reminds us that ascetic rigour can overshadow the purpose of the verse, prayer, not self-denial as an end.
- Pastoral wisdom: Paul is realistic about human weakness. He urges couples to resume regular intimacy so that Satan gains no foothold through unmet needs.
Illustration hooks
- A couple decides to fast from sex for a week to pray about a major decision. By day four they are irritable, and one is tempted by online content. Paul’s warning hits home.
- A spouse consistently withholds intimacy, claiming to be “more spiritual.” The other spouse feels rejected and wronged. Paul calls this defrauding.
- During a season of intense ministry, a couple agrees to a brief pause for focused prayer. They set a date to resume, and the discipline draws them closer both spiritually and physically.
Questions your congregation is asking
- Is it ever okay to say no to my spouse for spiritual reasons? How do we decide together?
- What about spouses who are unequally yoked, can the Christian still follow this?
- How do we balance the call to prayer with the call to honour our marriage covenant?
Leading a Discussion
Paul gives practical wisdom for married couples, addressing a question that arose from the Corinthians themselves: should we abstain from sex to focus on spiritual things? His answer affirms the goodness of marital intimacy while making room for seasons of focused prayer, on firm conditions. Let the group read the verse in context (1 Cor 7:1, 9) before discussing.
Discussion questions
- Why does Paul call withholding intimacy “defrauding”? What does that word reveal about marriage?
- What three conditions does Paul place on temporary abstinence? Why is each one important?
- How does the phrase “by mutual consent” apply to other areas of marriage, not just sex?
- In what kinds of situations might a couple decide to set aside time for focused prayer (with or without fasting)?
- Paul warns that Satan may tempt you “through your lack of self-control.” What does this suggest about human nature and spiritual danger?
- How does verse 6 (“by way of concession, not of commandment”) shape the way we apply this teaching?
- This passage speaks to marital intimacy and spiritual disciplines. How can the two enrich each other rather than compete?
Word Study
The key original-language words in this verse. Select any word for its full lexicon entry — meaning, every occurrence in Scripture, and related words.
Cross-References
Source: Treasury of Scripture Knowledge (TSK, public domain)
| Exodus 19:15 | He said to the people, “Be ready by the third day. Don’t have sexual relations with a woman.” |
| I Samuel 21:4 | The priest answered David, and said, “I have no common bread, but there is holy bread; if only the young men have kept themselves from women.” |
| I Samuel 21:5 | David answered the priest, and said to him, “Truly, women have been kept from us as usual these three days. When I came out, the vessels of the young men were holy, though it was only a common journey. How much more then today shall their vessels be holy?” |
| Joel 2:16 | Gather the people. Sanctify the assembly. Assemble the elders. Gather the children, and those who nurse from breasts. Let the bridegroom go out of his room, and the bride out of her chamber. |
| Zechariah 7:3 | and to speak to the priests of the house of Yahweh of Armies and to the prophets, saying, “Should I weep in the fifth month, separating myself, as I have done these so many years?” |
| Zechariah 12:12 | The land will mourn, every family apart; the family of David’s house apart, and their wives apart; the family of the house of Nathan apart, and their wives apart; |
| Zechariah 12:14 | all the families who remain, every family apart, and their wives apart. |
| Matthew 4:10 | Then Jesus said to him, “Get behind me, Satan! For it is written, ‘You shall worship the Lord your God, and you shall serve him only.’” |
Interlinear and lexical data from STEPBible (CC BY 4.0). Cross-reference data from OpenBible.info (CC BY 4.0). Commentaries are public domain.
For personal reflection
Read the devotional page — prayer, application, and "for families"
What the Commentators Say
8 public-domain commentaries, condensed into plain language.
Adam Clarke's Commentary Methodist/Wesleyan 1826
Clarke stresses that any marital abstinence must be by mutual consent, for a limited time and only for focused prayer. Even this temporary separation can lead to temptation, so the couple should come together again. Paul warns that prolonged abstinence gives Satan an opening, exploiting human weakness.
Barnes' Notes on the Bible Protestant 1832
Barnes emphasizes that any separation between spouses must be by mutual agreement and only temporary, not permanent. Prolonged separation, he argues, would expose them to the very temptations and harms that marriage was intended to prevent, giving Satan an opportunity to exploit the situation.
Calvin's Commentaries Reformed 1564
Calvin argues that Paul's frank instructions on marital intimacy were necessary to counter two dangers: the false belief that cel
Cambridge Bible for Schools and Colleges Anglican 1880
The Cambridge Bible notes that the best early manuscripts and ancient versions omit "fasting" from this phrase, making its presence in later texts uncertain. The commentator then links the mention of Satan directly to the warning in 1 Peter 5:8.
Geneva Bible Notes Reformed 1599
The Geneva note advises married couples not to refuse each other sexual intimacy except by mutual agreement for a limited time set aside for fasting and prayer. After that, they should come together again so that Satan does not tempt them through their lack of self-control.
Gill's Exposition of the Bible Baptist 1748
Gill stresses that withholding conjugal rights is a genuine act of defrauding, since spouses have mutual authority over each other's bodies. Any abstinence must be voluntary, by mutual consent, and only for a limited time devoted to prayer. Prolonged separation gives Satan an opening to tempt the weaker partner into sexual sin.
Matthew Henry's Commentary Reformed/Presbyterian 1710
Matthew Henry stresses that Paul calls it good to remain unmarried, but not because marriage itself is sinful. He warns against the ancient error of turning this counsel into a condemnation of marriage, noting Paul speaks by permission, not commandment, and offers the gift of celibacy only to those who can receive it.
Wesley's Explanatory Notes Methodist/Wesleyan 1754
Wesley stresses that sexual abstinence in marriage is only allowed by mutual agreement and only for a brief period set aside for concentrated prayer. He warns that staying apart too long gives Satan an opening to tempt one or both spouses toward impurity.