1 Corinthians 7:5 Meaning: Consent, Prayer, and Coming Back Together

Don’t deprive one another, unless it is by consent for a season, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer, and may be together again, that Satan doesn’t tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Study this verse →

Meaning in one sentence

Paul instructs married couples to only abstain from sexual intimacy by mutual agreement and for a short time dedicated to prayer, then return to avoid

I Corinthians New Testament Greek

Context

Paul is writing to a church in Corinth that asked him about marriage. Some believers there thought that avoiding sex made them more spiritual. In the verses just before this one, Paul lays down a surprising principle: each spouse’s body belongs to the other. The husband does not have authority over his own body; his wife does, and the same goes for her. Then he gives this careful exception. He is not commanding abstinence. He is regulating it so that it does not become a way for the enemy to gain a foothold. The whole chapter is pastoral wisdom for real marriages, not a set of rules.

Key Words

The first key word is apostereō, translated as “deprive” or “defraud.” It means to rob someone of what they are owed. Paul just said that each spouse owes the other their body. To withhold without agreement is not a virtue, it is a theft of what belongs to the other person.

Then there is sumphōnou, the word for “consent.” It literally means “sounding together.” An instrument that is in tune with another makes harmony. Any pause in marital intimacy has to be fully agreed on by both, not one pressuring the other.

Finally, Paul warns about akrasia, which Thayer defines as “want of self-control.” It is the opposite of strength. Paul is realistic: prolonged separation can weaken a person’s ability to resist temptation. The pause is meant to serve prayer, not to invite a fall.

How Christians Read This Verse

Christians across traditions agree that this verse gives a single exception to normal marital intimacy. Reformed commentators like Calvin stress how easily a false holiness can lead couples apart. Wesleyan interpreters like Adam Clarke note that even a temporary pause can backfire if not guarded by prayer. Some early manuscripts omit the word “fasting,” and many scholars see prayer as the main focus of the pause. Catholic tradition has long read this verse as supporting periodic abstinence for spiritual discipline, always by mutual consent. All traditions take Paul’s warning about Satan as a serious pastoral concern, not a theory.

A common misunderstanding

Some people read this verse as an encouragement to regularly abstain from sex in order to grow spiritually. In fact, Paul calls withholding a form of defrauding. Abstinence is the rare exception, not the rule. It requires full agreement, a short time, and a specific purpose, prayer. Then couples must come back together. Paul’s concern is protecting marriage, not promoting separation.

Living This Out

If you are married, this verse invites a honest conversation. When did you last talk openly about the physical side of your relationship? The consent Paul describes means full agreement, no guilt, no pressure, no silence. If you feel a need for a season of focused prayer, bring it up as a question, not a demand. Agree on a short time, then return.

If you are single, this verse offers a window into the practical care marriage requires. Spiritual disciplines like prayer are not meant to pull us away from family. They are meant to deepen us, even in the closest relationships. Let Paul’s honesty about temptation make you grateful for God’s wisdom in marriage, and prayerful for those you know.

Main takeaway: Abstaining from sexual intimacy in marriage is only wise by mutual consent, for a short time, with a clear spiritual purpose, and a quick return to protect against temptation.

For Families

For ages 5, 8

God made marriage so a husband and wife can love each other in special ways. Sometimes they might choose to pray together instead for a little while, but they always agree and then come back to each other. It’s a way of saying “I love you” to God and to each other.

For ages 9, 12

In this verse, Paul gives married couples a helpful rule. If they feel they need extra time to focus on praying to God, they can agree to a short break from being together physically. But both have to agree, and it’s only for a little while, because if they stay apart too long it could cause problems. Paul wants marriages to be strong and holy, not harmed by spiritual experiments. It shows how God gives practical wisdom for real life.

Questions People Ask

What does “deprive” mean in 1 Corinthians 7:5?

The Greek word is apostereō, which means to defraud or rob someone of what belongs to them. Paul has just said each spouse’s body belongs to the other, so withholding intimacy is like stealing. It is a serious word, not a gentle suggestion.

Why does Paul mention Satan in this verse?

Paul is realistic about human nature. If a couple stays apart too long without agreement, the natural desire for intimacy can become a weakness. The enemy often exploits such situations by tempting someone to find fulfillment outside marriage. So Paul urges them to come back together quickly.

Is “fasting” part of the original text of 1 Corinthians 7:5?

Some of the oldest Greek manuscripts do not include the word “fasting.” Many scholars and translations, like the ASV, omit it. The focus of the pause is prayer. Whether fasting was added later by scribes or was part of the original, the main point is devoted prayer, not the fasting itself.

Can a married couple permanently abstain from sex for spiritual reasons according to this verse?

No. Paul says the pause is “for a season” (kairos), a specific limited time. He commands them to “come together again.” Permanent abstinence would go against the mutual obligation he describes earlier, and it would expose them to temptation. Paul is not creating a higher spiritual path; he is protecting the marriage.

For pastors & researchers

Greek interlinear, 8 commentaries & word study

Study page →