Titus 3:3 Meaning: We Were Once Foolish, So Be Gentle
For we were also once foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving various lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another.
For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another.
For we also once were foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, hating one another.
for we were once--also we--thoughtless, disobedient, led astray, serving desires and pleasures manifold, in malice and envy living, odious--hating one another;
For we were once ourselves also without intelligence, disobedient, wandering in error, serving various lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, [and] hating one another.
Meaning in one sentence
Paul reminds us that we were once foolish, disobedient, and hateful, to humble us and make us gentle toward others. What this verse means for your life.
Context
Paul is writing to Titus, a young leader on the island of Crete. The believers there needed clear instruction on how to live in a rough, divided society. So Paul tells Titus to remind them to obey the authorities, to speak evil of no one, and to be gentle, showing humility to all people. Then he gives the reason that holds it all together: we used to be just like the people we are tempted to despise. Paul includes himself in that list. Before any of them knew Christ, they all shared the same condition. This memory was not meant to shame them but to plant humility deep in their hearts, and to remind them that only God's kindness made the difference.
Key Words
Three words from this verse invite us to pause. First, foolish (anoētos) means more than a low IQ. It describes a person who lacks spiritual understanding, and not by accident. There is a moral refusal at the root of it, a wilful blindness to what is true and good.
Second, serving (douleuō) is the same word used for being a slave. Paul is not saying we simply had some bad habits. He says we were in bondage, with our lusts and pleasures calling the shots. We were not free. We only thought we were.
Third, the pair hateful (stugētos) and hating (misountes) show a terrible symmetry. We were objects of hatred ourselves, and we gave it right back. This is how life looks when grace has not broken in. It is a closed loop of bitterness. The point is not to dwell on the shame, but to see how deep the rescue had to reach.
How Christians Read This Verse
Christians across traditions have read this verse as a clear call to humility. John Calvin says it reminds us that we were once in the same condition as those we now find difficult, so we ought to treat them with the same patience God showed us. Matthew Henry, writing from a Reformed perspective, sees the verse as a practical motive for speaking evil of no one and being gentle toward all, because we ourselves once needed that same gentleness. Adam Clarke, from the Wesleyan tradition, notes the damage our past sin caused and how God's grace alone made us different. No matter the tradition, the point holds: remembering what we were keeps us from looking down on anyone who is still there. None of us got out on our own.
A common misunderstanding
Some people read this list and think, “I was never that bad.” The mistake is to treat the list as a biographical record rather than a theological portrait. In fact, Paul is not describing every detail of each person’s past. He is naming the condition all of us share apart from grace. When you compare your old life to someone else’s and feel superior, you have missed the point. The list is meant to humble you, not to help you rank sins.
Living This Out
This week, when frustration rises because someone is rude, rebellious, or just hard to love, stop before you speak. Whisper to yourself: “I was once that. God did not leave me there, and He has not left this person either.” Let that memory check your tongue and soften your heart. That is exactly what Paul wants. The same mercy that reached you can reach them, and remembering your own need keeps you gentle.
Main takeaway: Remembering that we too were once foolish, disobedient, and hateful keeps us humble and gentle toward everyone.
For Families
For ages 5, 8
This verse says that everyone used to make wrong choices, even grown-ups. But God changed us. So we can be patient with people who still make wrong choices. God is patient with us.
For ages 9, 12
Paul says “we were also once foolish.” That means every Christian has a past of doing wrong things. When you see someone who does not follow God, remember that you were once like that too. That should make you kind and patient, not proud. God was patient with you, so you can be patient with them. You are not better than anyone; you are just further along in the story.
Questions People Ask
What does “foolish” mean in Titus 3:3?
The word in Greek (anoetos) means lacking understanding, but with a moral edge. It is not about being unintelligent; it is about refusing to see the truth about God and yourself. There is a choice behind it.
Was Paul really hateful before he was saved?
Paul includes himself in the list, but not every detail fits his biography exactly. His point is to describe the condition of all people apart from grace. The list shows that we were all enemies of God and of others in one way or another. Paul's own hateful acts toward Christians confirm that he belonged in that picture.
What does it mean to “serve various lusts and pleasures”?
The word for “serve” here means to be a slave. Paul is saying we were not in control of our desires, they were in control of us. “Various” suggests that we kept needing new pleasures because the old ones stopped satisfying us. It is a picture of slavery, not freedom.
Why does Paul mention these sins right before talking about God’s kindness?
He wants the contrast to hit us deeply. Verse 4 begins with “But when the kindness of God our Savior appeared.” The darker the background, the more the light stands out. By showing us our real condition, Paul makes God’s mercy feel like the rescue it actually is.
How does Titus 3:3 help us be gentle to others?
It reminds us that we were once in the same place as the people we might look down on. There is no room for superiority when you know you were rescued from the same pit. That memory kills pride and grows compassion.
For pastors & researchers
Greek interlinear, 8 commentaries & word study