Romans 16:13 Meaning: A Mother to Paul and Chosen in the Lord
Greet Rufus, the chosen in the Lord, and his mother and mine.
Salute Rufus chosen in the Lord, and his mother and mine.
Salute Rufus the chosen in the Lord, and his mother and mine.
Salute Rufus, the choice one in the Lord, and his mother and mine,
Salute Rufus, chosen in [the] Lord; and his mother and mine.
Meaning in one sentence
What does 'chosen in the Lord' mean? Why did Paul call Rufus's mother his own? A look into the warm, personal bonds of the early church in Romans 16:13.
Context
Paul is closing his letter to the Romans with a long list of personal greetings. Chapter sixteen reads like his address book. He names dozens of believers in Rome, one by one. This is not a formal sign-off. It is a family reunion on paper. Rufus appears among these names. Paul singles him out with the phrase "the chosen in the Lord." He also sends a special greeting to Rufus's mother. Paul calls her "his mother and mine." This small verse gives us a window into the deep, affectionate bonds of the early Christian community.
Key Words
The word "chosen" is eklektos in Greek. It is the same root word for "elect." In this verse, several early commentators read it as a term of honor. Rufus was a "choice" man, an outstanding believer. Mark 15:21 mentions a Rufus who was the son of Simon of Cyrene, the man forced to carry Jesus' cross. If this is the same Rufus, his family was intimately touched by the cross itself. The word "greet" (aspazomai) implies a warm, joyful welcome. Paul does not just send a memo. He pours personal love into this greeting. And the phrase "his mother and mine" is deeply tender. Paul’s own parents were likely long gone. This woman had stepped into that gap with real motherly care.
How Christians Read This Verse
Christians across traditions read this verse with shared warmth but different emphases. In the Reformed tradition, commentators like Gill and JFB see "chosen in the Lord" as an affirmation of God's eternal election, while still honoring Rufus's excellent character. Wesley and Clarke, in the Methodist tradition, emphasize the human side: Rufus was a choice believer, a man of high standing in the faith. On the Catholic and Orthodox side, the connection to Simon of Cyrene highlights a family intimately united with the Passion of Christ. The respect for the mother is a point of unity. All traditions agree this is a picture of the Church as a true spiritual family, bound by love.
A common misunderstanding
A common mistake is to think that "chosen in the Lord" here means Rufus was in a special club where others were left out. In fact, every believer is chosen in Christ (Ephesians 1:4). Here, Paul honors Rufus for living out that calling in a faithful and exemplary way. The word eklektos describes the quality of his faith. He was a sterling example, not a privileged insider.
Living This Out
This verse asks you to consider the family God has given you. Who has cared for you like a mother or father in the faith? Maybe someone fed you, prayed with you, or simply welcomed you into their home. Paul made sure to honor that love. You can do the same this week. Send a note, make a call, or say a simple prayer of thanks for the person who has been a spiritual parent to you. The great apostle did not think such gratitude beneath him. It is how the family of God works.
Main takeaway: The Christian family is a network of love and honor, where chosen character and motherly care are openly given and gratefully received.
For Families
For ages 5, 8
Paul said hi to his friend Rufus and Rufus's mom. She was so kind to Paul that he called her his own mommy. You can say a special thank you to someone who takes care of you!
For ages 9, 12
Paul called Rufus "chosen in the Lord." That is a big honor. It means Rufus was a choice believer, someone whose faith was a great example to others. Paul also thought of Rufus's mom as his own mother. She had taken care of him and made him feel part of their family. This shows us that the church is not just a building or a service. It is a real family. When we follow Jesus, we get brothers, sisters, mothers, and fathers who love and help us. Who in your church family makes you feel at home, and how can you say thank you?
Questions People Ask
Who was Rufus in Romans 16:13?
Rufus is a Christian in Rome whom Paul greets warmly. Many scholars believe he is the same Rufus mentioned in Mark 15:21 as the son of Simon of Cyrene, the man forced to carry Jesus' cross. This would give the greeting a stirring, personal link to the Passion of Christ.
What does 'chosen in the Lord' mean?
The Greek word *eklektos* can mean 'elect' or 'select.' In the context of the early church, commentators like Adam Clarke and Matthew Henry read it as a term of honor. It means Rufus was a 'choice' man, a believer of excellent character and strong faith. It focuses on the quality of his life in Christ.
Why did Paul call Rufus's mother 'his mother and mine'?
Paul is not saying she was his biological mother. He means she had taken care of him with deep motherly care. Commentator Albert Barnes calls it 'his mother in a literal sense, and mine in a figurative one.' It shows the deep family bond between early Christians.
Is this the same Rufus from Mark 15:21?
It is very likely. Mark 15:21 names Simon of Cyrene as 'the father of Alexander and Rufus.' Since Mark wrote his Gospel in Rome, he expected his readers to know who these brothers were. Paul writing to Rome greets a Rufus, suggesting it is the same faithful family.
What does this verse teach us about church family?
This verse reveals the affectionate nature of the early Christian community. Paul did not just send formal notices. He sent deeply personal greetings, acknowledging care and family ties. It shows the church was a close-knit spiritual family where people supported each other like mothers, fathers, and siblings.
For pastors & researchers
Greek interlinear, 8 commentaries & word study