Proverbs 23:22 Meaning: Honoring Your Aging Parents
Listen to your father who gave you life, and don’t despise your mother when she is old.
Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old.
Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, And despise not thy mother when she is old.
Hearken to thy father, who begat thee, And despise not thy mother when she hath become old.
Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old.
Meaning in one sentence
Proverbs 23:22 meaning: why listen to your father who gave you life and not despise your mother when she is old. A call to honor parents in their old age.
Context
This verse comes from a section of Proverbs where a father speaks directly to his son, urging him toward wisdom. The lines just before warn against the company of drunkards and gluttons, who bring poverty and shame. The lines after celebrate the joy a wise child brings to his parents. In the middle, this verse sharpens the call: honor the very parents who are speaking to you, especially your mother when age makes her vulnerable. It is a command that spans childhood and adulthood, rooted in the special bond between parent and child that time does not erase.
Key Words
The Hebrew word for 'listen' here is shema, it means more than hearing sound. It carries the weight of obeying, heeding, and taking to heart. The father is not asking for a nod of acknowledgment; he is asking for a life shaped by what he says. The word for 'despise' is buz, which means to hold someone as insignificant, to treat them with contempt. It is a strong word, covering not just harsh words but the quiet dismissal of a mother's counsel because she seems out of touch. And the word for 'old,' zaqen, describes not just advanced years but the frailty and dependence that often come with them. Together, these words point to a difficult kind of honor: listening even when your parents' voices grow weaker, and valuing them even when the world says they are past their prime.
How Christians Read This Verse
Adam Clarke, a Methodist commentator, observed that old age can make a mother seem 'helpless, useless, and burdensome,' but that does not lessen the child's duty. Baptist scholar John Gill warned against dismissing her advice as 'old wives' fables' or 'the silly talk of an old woman.' Jamieson-Fausset-Brown simply noted that adults should revere the parents they once obeyed as children. Across these traditions, the point is consistent: honoring parents does not end when you grow up. It grows deeper, though often harder, as they age.
A common misunderstanding
Some readers assume this verse is only for children still living under their parents' roof. But the phrase 'when she is old' points to grown children. The mistake is to think honoring parents is something you outgrow. In fact, the command becomes more urgent as parents age and become less independent. It calls for ongoing respect, not just memory.
Living This Out
This week, if you have an aging parent, choose one conversation where you deliberately listen. Maybe it's a story you have heard many times, or advice that seems outdated. Before you respond, pause. Ask a follow-up question. Let them know you value their perspective. If your parent has passed, consider how you can honor their memory by living out the wisdom they taught you. Listen for the voice that still speaks through what they gave you.
Main takeaway: Honoring your parents includes listening to them while they live, and especially valuing them when age makes them seem less capable.
For Families
For ages 5, 8
Your mom and dad took care of you when you were little. Now they are getting older. You can show them love by listening to them and being kind, even when they are tired or slow.
For ages 9, 12
As your parents get older, they may not move as fast or remember things as well as they used to. But God says you should still listen to them and never treat them like they don't matter. You can honor them by spending time with them, thanking them for all they've done, and obeying their wise advice. Even when you're grown up, your parents still deserve your respect.
Questions People Ask
What does it mean to 'despise' your mother in Proverbs 23:22?
The Hebrew word 'buz' means to hold someone as insignificant or to treat them with contempt. In this verse, it covers not only harsh words but also ignoring her advice or dismissing her because she is old. It is a warning against devaluing your mother just because she seems less capable.
Why does the verse specifically mention the mother when she is old?
Old age brings physical limitations and sometimes dependency. The temptation is to see an aging mother as a burden or to disregard her counsel as outdated. The verse focuses on this vulnerable stage to emphasize that honor must continue, and even increase, when parents need it most.
Is this command only for children living at home?
No. The context of Proverbs often addresses a son who is growing into adulthood. The phrase 'when she is old' indicates the child is grown. This command applies to adult children as well. Honoring parents does not end when you leave home; it takes new forms as they age.
How does this verse relate to the fifth commandment?
The fifth commandment (Exodus 20:12) commands honoring father and mother with a promise of long life. Proverbs 23:22 gives a specific application: listening to your father and not despising your mother when she is old. Both texts call for ongoing respect that adapts to different stages of life.
For pastors & researchers
Hebrew interlinear, 8 commentaries & word study