3 John 1:9 Meaning: When 'Loving to be First' Blocks God's Work
I wrote to the assembly, but Diotrephes, who loves to be first among them, doesn’t accept what we say.
I wrote unto the church: but Diotrephes, who loveth to have the preeminence among them, receiveth us not.
I wrote somewhat unto the church: but Diotrephes, who loveth to have the preeminence among them, receiveth us not.
I did write to the assembly, but he who is loving the first place among them--Diotrephes--doth not receive us;
I wrote something to the assembly; but Diotrephes, who loves to have the first place among them, receives us not.
Meaning in one sentence
Why did Diotrephes reject John's instructions? This verse shows how a desire for preeminence can shut down hospitality and authority in the church.
Context
John, the aging apostle, wrote a short letter to a church where Gaius was a member. He had recommended traveling missionaries to be welcomed and supported. But a man named Diotrephes refused to accept John's authority. He wanted to be first among the believers, and that ambition led him to reject the apostle's instructions, and the missionaries themselves. The letter John mentions is now lost, but its content is clear: it was about receiving the brothers. This verse sets up a sharp contrast between the humility of Gaius and the pride of Diotrephes, a problem that still troubles churches today.
Key Words
The Greek word at the heart of this verse is philoprōteuō, loving to be first. It appears only here in the New Testament. It combines phileō (to love) with prōtos (first). This is not a healthy ambition; it is a consuming need for prominence that overrides everything else. The verb John uses for Diotrephes’ refusal is epidechetai, which means to welcome or admit someone as a guest. Hospitality is the test case here. When a person ‘loves to be first,’ they stop receiving others, especially those who carry God’s authority. And John adds that he wrote ‘something’ (ti) to the church, a small word showing he did not intend a formal decree. Even a gentle letter was too much for a man who wanted to control.
How Christians Read This Verse
Historic Christian teachers have read this verse as a pastoral warning. Matthew Henry described Diotrephes as a church officer who was “out-done” by private believers and whose ambition led to contempt for apostolic authority. The Cambridge Bible suggests Diotrephes wanted his church to be independent from John’s oversight, making himself the sole authority. Other commentators note that the letter John wrote was probably a short commendation, now lost, and that Diotrephes likely suppressed it. Across traditions, the conflict is seen as a clash between humility and pride, authority and autonomy. Both the cause (love of preeminence) and the outcome (rejection of God’s messengers) are taken as sober lessons for church leaders.
A common misunderstanding
Some read this verse as a simple personality clash between a strong-willed leader and an apostle. In fact, the issue is deeper: Diotrephes actively rejected John’s apostolic authority and hindered the church’s mission. His love of being first was not a minor flaw but a pattern that poisoned his leadership and silenced the voice of the apostle Paul (actually, John). The trouble was not merely personal; it was spiritual.
Living This Out
This week, notice the people God brings across your path, especially those who ask for help or carry a message you would rather not hear. Diotrephes would have shut the door, but John calls us to receive others in Christ’s name. That may mean setting aside your plans, your reputation, your right to decide who is welcome. Try asking yourself before a decision: “Am I acting out of a need to be first, or out of love for the person in front of me?” A small act of hospitality can break the grip of pride.
Main takeaway: Loving to be first can close our hearts to God’s messengers and damage the unity of the church.
For Families
For ages 5, 8
Diotrephes wanted to be the boss, and he didn’t listen to John. God wants us to be kind and welcome people who love Jesus.
For ages 9, 12
Diotrephes shows us how wanting to be the most important person can make us reject good things God sends. When we only care about being first, we miss chances to serve and love others. John wrote a letter asking him to welcome traveling Christians, but Diotrephes refused because he wanted control. Ask yourself: am I willing to let God’s people in, or am I holding the door shut?
Questions People Ask
Who was Diotrephes in the Bible?
Diotrephes was a member of a church to which John wrote the third epistle. His name means 'nourished by Zeus,' suggesting he was of Gentile background. He seems to have held a position of influence, likely an elder or bishop, and used his authority to reject John's instruction and exclude traveling believers.
What letter did John write that Diotrephes rejected?
John refers to a previous letter he sent to the church, probably a short commendation for traveling missionaries. That letter is now lost. It was not one of the canonical epistles, but a practical note that Diotrephes apparently suppressed or disregarded.
What does 'loves to have the preeminence' mean in Greek?
The Greek word is philoprōteuō, a compound of 'love' (phileō) and 'first' (prōtos). It describes a person who craves being first in status and control. This word is used only once in the New Testament.
How did Diotrephes reject John's authority?
John had written to the church asking them to welcome itinerant teachers. Diotrephes not only refused to receive them himself, but he also stopped others from doing so and even expelled from the church anyone who tried to show hospitality.
Is 3 John 1:9 only about hospitality, or is there a deeper issue?
The immediate issue is hospitality, but the deeper problem is pride. Diotrephes loved being first, and that ambition made him reject apostolic authority and the unity of the church. The verse warns against letting a desire for preeminence override obedience to God and love for His people.
For pastors & researchers
Greek interlinear, 8 commentaries & word study