2 Samuel 13:15 Meaning: Why Does Love Turn to Hate?
Then Amnon hated her with exceedingly great hatred; for the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. Amnon said to her, “Arise, be gone!”
Then Amnon hated her exceedingly; so that the hatred wherewith he hated her was greater than the love wherewith he had loved her. And Amnon said unto her, Arise, be gone.
Then Amnon hated her with exceeding great hatred; for the hatred wherewith he hated her was greater than the love wherewith he had loved her. And Amnon said unto her, Arise, be gone.
And Amnon hateth her--a very great hatred--that greater is the hatred with which he hath hated her than the love with which he loved her, and Amnon saith to her, `Rise, go.'
And Amnon hated her with an exceeding great hatred, for the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, Arise, be gone.
Meaning in one sentence
Why does Amnon's hatred become greater than his love after he rapes Tamar? This verse shows how sin twists desire into cruelty and shame.
Context
This verse sits at a dark turning point in David's family. Amnon, David's firstborn son, had been sick with longing for his half-sister Tamar. With the help of a cunning friend, he tricked her into his room and assaulted her. Verse 15 records what happened next: the desire he called love collapsed into something far worse. He could not bear the sight of her. He ordered her out, and his servant bolted the door behind her. Tamar tore her royal robe, put ashes on her head, and went away weeping. Her brother Absalom took note, and two years later he had Amnon killed. That murder set off the rebellion that nearly destroyed David's kingdom. The whole chain started with a passion that claimed to be love but proved to be something else entirely.
Key Words
Two Hebrew roots stand in brutal contrast here. The word for love (ahev, H0157) is the same word used throughout the Old Testament for genuine affection, loyalty, even God's love for His people. Amnon used that word when he told his friend he loved Tamar. But the word for hate (sane, H8130) carries the force of personal rejection, even enmity, the same root used for an enemy. The narrator piles on intensity words: the hatred is great, exceedingly great, and it outpaces the love that came before. The Hebrew literally says the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he loved her. The repetition is deliberate. What looked like love was never love at all. It was appetite wearing love's name. When the appetite was satisfied, the mask came off, and all that remained was disgust for the person who had been used. The words expose the lie: selfish desire cannot produce lasting love. It produces only a deeper kind of isolation.
How Christians Read This Verse
Christians across traditions have read this verse with sober honesty. Matthew Henry (Reformed) saw it as the normal fruit of sin: when passion is gratified, conscience awakens and the sinner resents the person who reminds him of his guilt. John Gill (Baptist) pointed out that Amnon's conscience stung him, and the sharp words Tamar spoke afterward may have filled him with hatred. The Cambridge Bible (Anglican) quoted a Roman historian: 'It is characteristic of human nature to hate one whom you have injured.' John Wesley (Methodist) went further, seeing the hand of God, that this public cruelty was part of the judgment on David's house from the Bathsheba affair. Each reading agrees on one thing: sin does not stop at the act. It corrupts the heart afterward, twisting whatever was there into something uglier.
A common misunderstanding
Some readers assume Amnon really loved Tamar, and that his hatred was a sudden, inexplicable reversal. In fact, the narrative shows that what he called love was only selfish desire from the start. He never cared about her well-being, he lied to get her alone, ignored her pleas, and when he had taken what he wanted, he threw her away. The hatred was not a reversal; it was the revelation. The verse does not say love changed to hate. It says the hatred was greater than the love had ever been. That is the difference between real love and a feeling that serves only itself.
Main takeaway: Sin that takes what it wants ends by despising the person it used.
Questions People Ask
Why did Amnon hate Tamar after raping her?
The commentators offer several reasons. His conscience stung him, and the sight of her reminded him of his crime. Shame and the fear of exposure made him want to get rid of her. The ancient historian Tacitus noted that it is human nature to hate those we have injured. Some also saw the hand of God exposing the sin to bring about the judgment Nathan had pronounced on David's house.
Does this mean Amnon never really loved Tamar?
Yes. The same Hebrew word for love is used earlier, but the context shows it was never genuine love. True love seeks the good of the other. Amnon's desire was about his own gratification. When he got what he wanted, the feeling vanished. The hatred proves that his 'love' was counterfeit from the start.
What does this verse teach about the nature of sin?
Sin is not just a bad choice; it dehumanizes both the sinner and the victim. It twists emotions, turning affection into abuse and leaving a trail of shame. This verse shows that sin has a life of its own: it grows, changes shape, and leads to more sin. Amnon's lust led to rape, then hatred, then cruelty. The story warns that sin never stays where you put it.
How should Christians read such a disturbing passage?
With honesty about what sin really is, and with hope that God exposes evil in order to ultimately redeem. The Bible does not shield us from the ugly reality of human depravity. But it tells these stories as part of a larger story that leads to Jesus, who came to heal the broken and to break the cycle of sin and shame.
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