1 Samuel 20:10 Meaning: When You Need Someone to Tell You the Hard Truth
Then David said to Jonathan, “Who will tell me if your father answers you roughly?”
Then said David to Jonathan, Who shall tell me? or what if thy father answer thee roughly?
Then said David to Jonathan, Who shall tell me if perchance thy father answer thee roughly?
And David saith unto Jonathan, `Who doth declare to me? or what if thy father doth answer thee sharply?'
Then said David to Jonathan, Who shall tell me? or what if thy father answer thee roughly?
Meaning in one sentence
David asks Jonathan how he will learn if Saul answers harshly. A verse about trust, risk, and the practical courage of covenant friendship.
Context
David is hiding. Saul has thrown spears at him, sent soldiers to kill him. Now David has come to his friend Jonathan, desperate to know if the king’s anger is still burning. The two men have just renewed a covenant before Yahweh. Jonathan has promised to sound out his father during the new moon feast and tell David the truth, whatever it is. But David needs one more thing: a plan. The feast is a public meal, the king’s table full of eyes. Jonathan cannot simply come out to the field afterward if Saul is enraged. David’s question is practical and honest. He is not doubting Jonathan’s loyalty. He is asking, How will the message reach me when every move is watched? It is the question of a man who trusts his friend enough to say, I am afraid, and I need you to think of a way.
Key Words
Two Hebrew words carry the weight of David’s worry. The verb nagad (to tell, to make known) is the same one Jonathan used in his vow: “wouldn’t I tell you it?” David takes that promise seriously and asks for the method. He wants the news delivered, not just promised. The second word is qasheh, translated “roughly” or “harshly.” It means hard, severe, cruel, the kind of answer that shuts a door or threatens a life. In Genesis 42, Joseph speaks qasheh to his brothers, rough words that hide his heart. Here the harsh answer could be a death sentence. When David pairs “who will tell me?” with “if your father answers roughly,” he is naming the real danger. He is not asking for good news only. He is trusting Jonathan to bring him the truth even if it breaks everything.
How Christians Read This Verse
Christian readers have long seen in this verse a picture of covenant faithfulness under pressure. Early Reformed commentators like the Geneva Bible note that David’s question is about logistics, not doubt, he needs to know how to receive the report. Matthew Henry draws attention to the risk Jonathan was willing to take: to speak for a friend even to an angry king. More recent interpreters point out that Jonathan’s plan (shooting arrows in the field, as later verses show) was a careful strategy to protect David while still keeping his promise. Across traditions, the moment is understood as a high point of human friendship, but also as a type of the loyalty God shows us: He does not just promise to tell us the truth; He finds a way to get it to us, even through danger.
A common misunderstanding
A common misreading is that David is questioning Jonathan’s word: “You said you would tell me, but who will actually do it?” In fact, David is not doubting Jonathan’s promise. He is asking for the means, how will Jonathan deliver the news when Saul’s anger might make it impossible to come near? Jonathan’s answer (going out to the field with arrows) shows that David’s practical concern was valid and necessary. This is not distrust; it is the wise planning of a friendship that faces real danger.
Living This Out
This week, you might have a hard truth you need to hear. Maybe about a relationship, a job, or your own heart. Ask yourself: Is there a person you trust enough to receive bad news from? Someone who will find a way to get it to you, even if it costs them something? Then consider being that person for someone else. A friend in a crisis does not need your promises from a distance; they need a signal, a code, a plan. David’s question teaches us that real love does not just pledge loyalty. It asks, How can we safely get the truth to each other when everything is risky?
Main takeaway: True friendship does not just promise to tell the truth; it finds a way to deliver it safely, even when the answer is hard.
For Families
For ages 5, 8
David was scared that the king might be angry. He asked his friend Jonathan, “How will you tell me if the king is mad?” Jonathan made a plan with arrows so David would know the truth and stay safe. Good friends help each other even when it is hard.
For ages 9, 12
David and Jonathan had made a promise to always tell each other the truth. But David knew a promise was not enough, they needed a real plan. What if Saul was so angry that Jonathan could not come close? So Jonathan used archery as a signal: arrows shot a certain way meant “run,” and another way meant “safe.” This story shows that being a good friend is not just about saying you care. It is about thinking ahead and risking something to protect your friend from danger.
Questions People Ask
Why did David ask 'Who will tell me?' if Jonathan already promised to tell him?
David was not doubting Jonathan’s promise. He was asking a practical question: how would the message get to him safely if Saul became angry? Jonathan answered this by creating a signal with arrows in the field, showing that a trustworthy friend plans for the worst-case scenario.
What does it mean that Saul might answer 'roughly'?
The Hebrew word qasheh means harsh, severe, or cruel. In this context, it means Saul would respond with anger or violence, a word that could lead to David’s death. That is why David needed a careful way to learn the news without putting Jonathan or himself in immediate danger.
How did David and Jonathan communicate their plan?
In the following verses Jonathan tells David to hide in the field. After the feast, Jonathan will shoot arrows and send a boy to retrieve them. If he says the arrows are beyond the boy, that is the signal for David to flee. If he calls that the arrows are here, it means peace. This secret code protects David while still fulfilling Jonathan’s promise.
What is the covenant between David and Jonathan?
Earlier in 1 Samuel 18 and 20, Jonathan made a covenant with David, promising loyalty to him even above his own father’s interests. They swore by Yahweh to show kindness to each other and to each other’s families forever. This covenant is the foundation of their risky plan in chapter 20.
Does this verse show that David was afraid?
Yes, David had just said to Jonathan that there was only a step between him and death (1 Samuel 20:3). His question here reveals a man who is afraid but not paralyzed, he is still thinking ahead and asking his friend for help. Fear and faith can coexist, and this verse shows a healthy kind of fear that leads to careful action.
For pastors & researchers
Hebrew interlinear, 8 commentaries & word study