2 Samuel 13:5-9 Meaning: Bad Counsel, Devastating Results
5Jonadab said to him, “Lay down on your bed and pretend to be sick. When your father comes to see you, tell him, ‘Please let my sister Tamar come and give me bread to eat, and prepare the food in my sight, that I may see it and eat it from her hand.’”
6So Amnon lay down and faked being sick. When the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, “Please let my sister Tamar come and make me a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat from her hand.”
7Then David sent home to Tamar, saying, “Go now to your brother Amnon’s house, and prepare food for him.”
8So Tamar went to her brother Amnon’s house; and he was lying down. She took dough, kneaded it, made cakes in his sight, and baked the cakes.
9She took the pan and poured them out before him, but he refused to eat. Amnon said, “Have all men leave me.” Then every man went out from him.
5And Jonadab said unto him, Lay thee down on thy bed, and make thyself sick: and when thy father cometh to see thee, say unto him, I pray thee, let my sister Tamar come, and give me meat, and dress the meat in my sight, that I may see it, and eat it at her hand.
6So Amnon lay down, and made himself sick: and when the king was come to see him, Amnon said unto the king, I pray thee, let Tamar my sister come, and make me a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat at her hand.
7Then David sent home to Tamar, saying, Go now to thy brother Amnon’s house, and dress him meat.
8So Tamar went to her brother Amnon’s house; and he was laid down. And she took flour, and kneaded it, and made cakes in his sight, and did bake the cakes.
9And she took a pan, and poured them out before him; but he refused to eat. And Amnon said, Have out all men from me. And they went out every man from him.
5And Jonadab said unto him, Lay thee down on thy bed, and feign thyself sick: and when thy father cometh to see thee, say unto him, Let my sister Tamar come, I pray thee, and give me bread to eat, and dress the food in my sight, that I may see it, and eat it from her hand.
6So Amnon lay down, and feigned himself sick: and when the king was come to see him, Amnon said unto the king, Let my sister Tamar come, I pray thee, and make me a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat from her hand.
7Then David sent home to Tamar, saying, Go now to thy brother Amnon’s house, and dress him food.
8So Tamar went to her brother Amnon’s house; and he was laid down. And she took dough, and kneaded it, and made cakes in his sight, and did bake the cakes.
9And she took the pan, and poured them out before him; but he refused to eat. And Amnon said, Have out all men from me. And they went out every man from him.
5And Jonadab saith to him, `Lie down on thy couch, and feign thyself sick, and thy father hath come in to see thee, and thou hast said unto him, `Let, I pray thee, Tamar my sister come in and give me bread to eat; and she hath made the food before mine eyes so that I see it , and have eaten from her hand.'
6And Amnon lieth down, and feigneth himself sick, and the king cometh in to see him, and Amnon saith unto the king, `Let, I pray thee, Tamar my sister come, and she maketh before mine eyes two cakes, and I eat from her hand.'
7And David sendeth unto Tamar, to the house, saying, `Go, I pray thee, to the house of Amnon thy brother, and make for him food.'
8And Tamar goeth to the house of Amnon her brother, and he is lying down, and she taketh the dough, and kneadeth, and maketh cakes before his eyes, and cooketh the cakes,
9and taketh the frying-pan, and poureth out before him, and he refuseth to eat, and Amnon saith, `Take ye out every one from me;' and they go out every one from him.
5And Jonadab said to him, Lay thee down on thy bed and feign thyself sick; and when thy father comes to see thee, say to him, I pray thee, let my sister Tamar come, and give me food, and dress the food in my sight, that I may see it, and eat it from her hand.
6So Amnon lay down and feigned himself sick; and the king came to see him, and Amnon said to the king, I pray thee, let Tamar my sister come, and make a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat from her hand.
7And David sent home to Tamar, saying, Go, I pray thee, to thy brother Amnon's house, and dress him food.
8And Tamar went to her brother Amnon's house; and he had lain down. And she took flour and kneaded it, and made cakes in his sight, and baked the cakes.
9And she took the pan, and poured them out before him; but he refused to eat. And Amnon said, Put every man out from me. And they went out every man from him.
Meaning in one sentence
In 2 Samuel 13:5-9, Jonadab helps Amnon scheme to be alone with Tamar. Discover the danger of bad advice and unchecked desire.
Context
This is part of a painful chapter in David's family story. Amnon, David's eldest son, is consumed by a powerful, destructive desire for his half-sister Tamar. His cousin Jonadab, earlier called a very subtle man, offers a plan: pretend to be sick, ask David to send Tamar to cook for you, then get her alone. Verses 5 through 9 show the plan in motion, from Jonadab's suggestion to the moment Tamar is isolated in a room with no one else present. What looks like a simple act of family care is a carefully laid trap.
Key Words
The original Hebrew words tell the story plainly. The phrase for 'make yourself sick' comes from the verb hitḥāl (H2470), meaning to feign illness. It is a conscious act of deception, not a real need. The word for 'cakes' is lebībāh (H3834), a rare term that some scholars connect to the word for 'heart'. It adds a cruel irony: Tamar's heart-shaped offering becomes the bait. And the repeated phrase 'from her hand' uses yād (H3027), the same hand that kneads the dough, serves the food, and will soon be grasped for harm. Every word underscores trust being weaponized.
How Christians Read This Verse
Christians across traditions read this passage as a stark warning. Protestant commentators like Matthew Henry focus on Amnon's lust and Jonadab's cunning, calling the plan a 'hellish device'. Catholic and Orthodox readers often see the breakdown of family order and the tragic consequences of sin within the house of David. Some emphasize David's failure as a father in not questioning the request. Others note that Jonadab's manipulation echoes the serpent in Eden. Despite different emphases, all see here a sobering story about how bad advice can unravel everything.
A common misunderstanding
Some think Jonadab was simply a helpful friend giving practical advice to a lovesick young man. In fact, the writer calls him 'subtle', using the same Hebrew word for the serpent in Genesis. He does not help Amnon resist his desire. He designs a plan that exploits Tamar's innocence and David's trust. This is not friendly advice. It is calculated manipulation with terrible results.
Living This Out
This passage asks a hard question: who are you listening to when your desires run strong? Jonadab appeared helpful, but he led Amnon deeper into sin. It also asks you to notice the Tamars in your life, people who trust you and are vulnerable. Are you protecting them or using their trust for your own ends? One honest conversation with David could have stopped everything. But no one had it. The story invites you to examine the counsel you receive and the care you show to those who depend on you.
Main takeaway: Bad counsel can dress itself as helpful friendship, leading both the deceived and the innocent into harm.
For Families
For ages 5, 8
This story shows how someone pretended to be sick so they could hurt another person. God sees when people are tricked, and He loves the person who was tricked.
For ages 9, 12
Amnon wanted something wrong and listened to a friend who helped him plan a trick. Tamar was innocent and trusted her brother and father. The story teaches us to be careful whom we listen to, especially when our desires are strong, and to protect people who trust us.
Questions People Ask
Who was Jonadab?
Jonadab was Amnon's cousin and is described as a very subtle or cunning man. He gave Amnon the idea to pretend to be sick so Tamar would come to him alone. He shows how bad advice can enable terrible actions.
Why did David send Tamar to Amnon's house?
Amnon faked being sick and asked his father David to let Tamar come cook for him. As a father, David likely wanted to help his sick son. He did not suspect the manipulation, which shows how easily trust can be exploited.
What does 'subtle' mean in describing Jonadab?
The Hebrew word for subtle can also mean crafty or shrewd. It is the same word used for the serpent in Genesis. It points to a cleverness used for evil purposes, not innocent wisdom.
What happened to Tamar after this passage?
The story continues with Amnon forcing himself on Tamar (v14) and then hating her (v15). The consequences ripple through David's family, leading to Absalom's revenge and more tragedy. It shows how one act of deceit and violence can destroy many lives.
What do the cakes symbolize in this story?
The Hebrew word for cakes, lebibah, may mean heart-shaped. The image is painful: Tamar's kind act of making something special for her 'sick' brother becomes part of the trap. It shows how something good and loving can be used for harm.
For pastors & researchers
Hebrew interlinear, 8 commentaries & word study